As a result of something that happened to you in your past, do you live small?

I was recently working with a client who had lost a close friendship within the past year. She had come to terms with no longer being in her friends life, but as we spoke about it, she began to realize that there were unanswered questions as to why the friendship fell apart.

I firmly believe that friendships have their season, but in this case if she didn't resolve the unanswered questions, she would carry doubt within her.

Whenever we have questions in our mind about anything, a good practice is to make yourself answer the question.

Leaving them unanswered leaves them unresolved,

unthought through,

it can give them weight.

So we talked it through, had she done anything wrong to cause her friend to leave?

"It sure felt like it." Why?

"Well, it seemed like we were friends, and then we weren't. It was sudden."

Ok, but did you do anything wrong? I really wanted her to take the time to think it through. You can see here where it "felt" like she had done something wrong and she was carrying that responsibility, was feeling like it was obvious.

In thinking it through she came to the conclusion that there were places in the friendship where she felt like she could have shown up better, or different, but not wrong.

I think all friendships are like that. We all let each other down in relationship, we are human after all.

But this exercise gave her a new peek into how heavy her thoughts were around it, all because she hadn't taken the time to resolve it in her mind.

Then she realized that she was carrying that doubt, that heaviness into the new friendships that she had formed since. It gave her perspective, and the freedom to see the doubt and begin to be intentional about letting it go, about believing that she had something to give others as a friend, to not do it perfectly, but to do it as authentically as she could.

This is a picture of what working with a coach and doing your mindset work looks like. Can you see if she hadn't done this work that it would be affecting all of new friendships?

Mindset work is for you, BUT it also is for those you love. Why are you waiting? I would love to walk with you and explore where you may be thinking in ways that aren't serving you. Let's talk!